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  • Writer's pictureTracy Le Fleur

ladies, are you an option?

He texts back but he doesn't call. He loves me. He loves me not.

Let's be clear. If a guy wants to talk to you he will. He will make time, he puts in effort and gives you his energy. Are you sitting on the fence if he's in or out? He never calls or texts, but you cling to the glimmer of hope that he does respond if you go first. Check that scrap of attention at the door. We do not need bread crumbs. Either come at me with a whole loaf fresh out the oven or I ain't got time for that.

So what's going on with this dude? Let's review some options:

1) One he's keeping his options open. He is not going to concentrate his energy on you If he is playing the field, and he is also playing it safe. He doesn't want to give you too much hope and yet just enough. He may be in fact putting more effort into another chick. And he is keeping your door open just in case it goes south. Wake up girl! You are no one's option.

2) He may just not be that into you, but doesn't want to look like a bad guy. He may be down for a casual fling, but he isn't feeling it. Rather than be honest, he doesn't want to be labeled as an A-hole. So he oh so politely texts back stringing you along to protect his poor little ego, girl let him know he ain't that nice.

3) He could still be hung up on an ex. There's a possibility he wanted to get his feet wet in the dating pool. It’s a clear case of it's not you it's him. He may just not be ready. Which is fine, but you do not have time to wait and you are not his therapist .

4) Power Play. Playing hard to get, trying to be in control, wanting to dominate the situation, have you waiting on a whim. This is not the signal that you want to be receiving. It's all fun and games to him. Remind him that your heart is not a toy.

5) You are a Booty call. Listen, this one is hard to swallow. We really want to buy into the fantasy that he is the one but he could have some other fantasies in mind himself and they start after 2am. Bottom line is, if he isn't calling you, texting, or planning dates, his focus is not on you. I know we tend to find these men intriguing but let's remember the thrill of the chase never pays off. Ladies, we do not want to be chasing our man down. We do not want to question for a moment our worth or value. There is one option as far as I'm concerned. Choose me fully or do not. I can fill up my own cup, sir. Time to move on.

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