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  • Writer's pictureTracy Le Fleur

relationship how to: in it for the long haul

Tips that can help any relationship go the distance.

We all want relationships to feel easy. We expect sunshine and rainbows, sparkling conversations, and breezy days. And sometimes we end up in the middle of what feels like a dumpster fire. Love takes work once we find it, it's up to us to keep it healthy relationship requires work. If you want your relationship to stand the test of time you need to be ready to dig in and get your hands dirty. To start with, there needs to be a shared future shared vision, future goals, and a solid foundation of trust. When you mutually decide to put your exit strategies aside. You are now ready to start creating a safe, healthy environment for love to grow. This little love garden needs constant nurture and dedication however, it cannot strive and left on its own. Here are just a few attributes of a healthy relationship.

Communicate! in a healthy, strong relationship, both parties work on and continue to communicate. Sometimes it's helpful to set a check in time like a relationship leadership meeting where you both are the head counsel, a time to discuss emotions concerns frustrations, a safe space for a voice to be heard and acknowledged learning how to dial to dialogue is crucial. not blaming but sharing coming from a place of ownership and accountability. allows your partner to hear and not shut down in defense. And an unspoken expectations and assumptions can kill any relationship. Ask for what you need. Don't expect your partner to read your mind, communication is a key ingredient

Anticipate and honor your partner's needs. It's hard not to be out for us. We are wired for survival. It's a 100% necessary in a relationship to practice going first to choose the other person over us at times. Thinking considering your partner's feelings and needs first is number one component of relationships going the distance

Do things together. Yes, Independence healthy and finding things you enjoy doing together is going to infinitely expand your intimacy. Going into the gym together, hiking, cooking all creates a true sense of partnership team building a create safety and shared sense of presence. Get into the moments, put your cell phones down and come together.

Be sure to make time for each other. This can feel tough at times we live in a competitive gogogo world. We may have kids and other things on our plate, but your love is the foundation for everything in your life. You create from a sense of joy. The more you prioritize your relationship, the more it feels fuels and energizes all aspects of your life. When we don't make time, we grow apart we become disconnected, resentful, suspicious. We can start to feel less than and separate from our partner. Make time, this is not a question

Have the deep/hard conversations. That's right your history of family has shaped who you are, how you operate in this world. Your upbringing, past relationships, traumas all form who you are, let your partner in help them understand you in times of conflict and trigger this insight into the past and really help them navigate the present moment and support you better.

Freedom to be acceptance. We all have been taught to suppress our feelings people please use a filter put on a show we all strive to be valued and accepted in this world. Most of us have been an uphill battle most of our lives to be accepted. Take the pressure off each other help each other grow into your most authentic selves. The freedom to just be and be accepted as is. This is the truest form of unconditional love. Your partner should be your best friend your safe space your go to show them daily. They're your ride or die. It takes work vulnerability and patience. But the payoff will be a lasting love that you could never have imagined.

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