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  • Writer's pictureTate Kerkhoff

Three things that will let you know early on if the relationship will last.

Most every new relationship begins with some excitement, anticipation, and feel-good moments. These can either be nerve-wracking or eye opening. When we are all glossy eyed and twitterpated it can be tough to figure out if the relationship will last. We believe there are 3 things that you will notice early on that will let you know whether or not the relationship will be built to last. Hopefully you’ve chosen the first date based on some commonalities and ease of conversation. When we keep this in mind our first dates can feel more like a continuation than a beginning.

There are three things to keep in mind when you interact on your first few dates. With taking your time and noticing if there is any chemistry you will notice these three ingredients.

1. The Conversation Never Ends Natural Chemistry will lead you to endless conversations because the other person is truly interested in what you have to say and vice versa. It’s quite remarkable really when you notice that you have each other’s full attention. Things like eye-contact, laughing, effortless conversation are good signs, but when we have that feeling, you know the feeling. Where time has lost all of its meaning. A 3-hour date can feel like 6 days, a 2-day weekend trip can feel like a month. Time collapses with this person because of the chemistry and genuine interest they have in you. You’ll notice body movements aligning, breathing aligning, even the way you hold hands and how they perfectly fit will feel like nothing you’ve felt before. Lastly under this piece is that it feels good. The conversations feel good, the time feels good, the moments feel good. Does all this feel familiar? So far we’re good!

2. There is Follow Through with Agreements These are attributes that each person is bringing to the table. Can they show up on time? Can they keep plans? Do they call when they say they will, or respond in a timely manner to texts etc. Showing genuine interest, following through with plans, showing up when they say they will, responding in a timely fashion are all key indicators that they can keep agreements and will lead you down the right path to bigger agreements being met. Not everyone is perfect always, but if someone shows genuine care and tries to be on time, show up consistently and keep their word, this will show up in the long run as well. Ask any long-term relationship stakeholder if their relationship is full of kept agreements or not. I can tell you the answer is yes.

3. Shared Vision This can be a grand vision or a very distinct clear-cut vision. The main point is that you both are heading in the same direction in life. Do you want kids? Do you have kids and want more? Do you want to run a business together? What are you travel plans? This part of the three may in fact be the most important, and is definitely something important to pout out on the table early on in the relationship. This is one of the foundational pieces for any relationship and can also build an unbreakable bond, and a future full of joy and presence.

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