Unspoken Rules of Dating. A Matchmakers Guide
I mean, let's be real. All of these things should be common knowledge. However, in a world full of filters we now live in, where everyone broadcasts the highlight reels of their love life. The facts get swept under the rug that it takes work to find and keep love.
#1. Before you are ready to find love, you need to do some healing work.
No, I'm not saying you need to feel perfectly ready to and healed to move on. But you need to catch yourself in these patterns.
You need some awareness around your wounding so you could recognize why you are attracting certain partners. If not, you will just keep calling in the same toxic relationship over and over. Believe me I have done the legwork on this one for you. There is no way around this one, I tried.
#2 Let's throw the old rules out of the window like the guy needs to go first or you need to want to wait a certain amount of time after a date.
To reach out. I say grab the bull by the horns on this one. If you know you want go after it speak up. And make the first move.
#3 Be authentically you.
Don't hold back. Don't hide behind filters. The person who is for you will enjoy all your quirks. They will embrace the beautiful mess you are and appreciate you even more for it. Let that freak fad flag fly if they run for the hills good they were not your person anyways.
#4 Don't try to play hard to get.
Don't wait to text or pretend to be unavailable games do not work. This is really a combo of rules two and three. But everyone seems to love this one. So it deserves to be reiterated
#5 Don't be too needy be cool. Relax.
So yes, I'm basically telling you to pat your head and rub your belly. Yes, go first. Yes be available. Yes. So show you're interested. Also chill and don't overdo it. We all get impatient. We all want instant responses. Try to be discerning leave some breathing room. Taking charge of sexy trying to wear someone's skin after two days. Two dates is not
#6 Don't let your personal work go by the wayside once you have the green light.
This goes for health fitness, nutrition friends and all the hard self healing work you have put into yourself before you found this unicorn. Remember to be able to show up fully in relationship you must choose yourself first work boundaries self love all that jazz.
#7 Number seven, hold off on the Instagram investigation.
Try not to stalk their socials and this includes asking friends to do the background check for you. Yeah, you know, so they can't see that you view every story wondering why they haven't text you back. I mean, yeah, it's been four whole minutes. Many things can be taken out of context and they did have a life before you if this one seems hard calling a friend, have them as hydrophone for you or tape your hands behind your back.
#8 Do not jump right into the sack.
This one should be a no brainer. Ignore all the happy sexy brain. Chemicals take it easy on the cocktails. If they are truly your person will be so much more rewarding to wait the best sex happens when intimate relationship is established.
#9 Be present.
Enjoy the ride show up for each moment let the relationship unfold without pushing or forcing. or timelines. You will save yourself headache heartache and fights you will thank me later for this one. be there for the juiciness of the unknown.
#10 Follow your gut red flags are not a myth.
If it doesn't feel right, don't push it your person is out there, I promise.